Expect pioneers to have enemies; UUYA! &I are no exception L6ANYN
|“Hi, I'm Dan. ... and I want to let you know that, after you've been starting your group as long as you have, 9-months, and been doing good work and putting your heart & soul into it, nefarious characters will now be surfacing from under the woodwork and will try to undermine you.” —quote from a regular UU Anaheim attendee and soon notable supporter of UUYA!|
- L6AY04: Synopsis: Always first carefully ask both sides. And since most people fail to, then remember: Expect pioneers to have enemies; UUYA! is no exception.
- L6AWXW: The abstract: synopsis of all the key points.
- L6B243: Reality for the pioneer: nefarious characters awaiting
- L6AX0K: The short story
- “KVA16I:Document Background & History”
- L6AWZ2: As you can see by my idea (gathering local young adults online until a critical mass can be reached), plus by its extensive website and real online group, since 2009.10 I've done a bit of work and have been a bit pioneering in UU.
- L6AWZC: But, as with most all pioneers & hard-workers, such work & accomplishment stirs nasty envy in a few, and so enemies — especially someone doing the same kind of work—who sees or fears that his/her own ideas and power may be bested — and so may work against the pioneer and what s/he builds —and in hidden ways; and UUYA! & I are no exception.
- L6AWZK:So please expect to hear some wrongful talk against me and/or our group from people you would think you could just trust —But don't be fooled by it. And don't let a person repeating the misinformation to you be fooled, either. Instead, ask him/her “Have you asked (the accused) their side of the story?” and even if the reply is “Yes, I have” don't automatically believe it. In other-words, be unlike the US White House and NAACP, who were tricked 2010.07 into condemning Shirley Sherrod simply because they forgot what nearly every adult knows but way-too-often fails to do (even the US White House): always first carefully ask both sides. Much like Shirley Sherrod, I & UU YOUNG ADULTS! International have nothing but good to offer.
- L6B5V7: Moreover, I'm an MIT computer geek by training, so playing politics and anticipating who might act nefariously is definitely not my strong suite.
- L6B5MC: I'm just here to help via my innovations —indeed nothing pleases me more; so thinking like some envious ego-holic (to know what triggers them and how to beat them) is generally the last thing on my mind, why I got attacked and tricked myself. So, as a pioneer, my advice to you in hindsight is: “Expect pioneers to have enemies.” I need to start remembering that more than anyone else! (Though you can please remember it, too!)
L6B1BD: Reality for the pioneer is remarkably summarized by Dan in the amazing way I met him. Somehow UU-newcomer Dan just-knew what had been happening to me from the moment he saw me (when I briefly announced to his UU congregation that I was running this young adult group for 9 months), as...
L6B1EC:He walked up to me afterward and effectively said “Hi, I'm Dan. I can see you spearheading this young adult group for Orange County, as for congregations like ours which don't have one, and really putting your heart and soul into it; and I want to let you know that, after you've been starting your group as long as you have, 9-months, and been doing good work and putting your heart & soul into it, nefarious characters will now be surfacing from under the woodwork and will try to undermine you.”
- L6B1HM: to which I said to him “Are you psychic?! In fact that was what just happened to me again this week. Did you know me or my group for before?!” and
- heL6B1IP: replied “No, you just remind me of myself 4 years ago — and I went thru it 4 years ago; it's what generally happens whenever someone really tries to do something good & new: if it looks like it's starting to work, someone will come and try to undermine you.”
- L6ATON: Have you heard of us before? :-) If so, please share with me what you've heard, good, or bad. Yes, bad:
- L6ATM8: Expect to hear some trash against me & our group, as we are pioneers.
- L6AX5P: And our design seems to even be good enough to, rather shockingly, stir up some nasty envy from another local UU young adult leader in the county with considerable influence, someone paid to do the job, whose career it is to do the job, which we’ve done for free and “just for fun” and arguably quite a bit better.
- L6GFLJ: But I was just trying to help people coming up with this. And for the first 8 months I received mostly nothing but the go-ahead and encouragement from all 4 of my closest UU congregations. For instance,
- L6GFR3: the UU minister at at an Orange County congregation I had been attending for nearing 2 years complimented me on the group and asked me to be his congregations' Young Adult coordinator.
- L6GFRJ: The minister of another local congregation actually joined our group himself had was semi-reliably working with me having me build and host weekly events at his congregation, designed to his and another board member's specification.
- L6GFVI: The young adult staff member at at yet another UU congregation spotted our group on her own and was one of the first to join, and became our most active online supporter supporter, posting several ideas and eventually wanting to be our point-of-contact and "recruiter" at that congregation and posted and volunteered to host a number of event ideas.
- L6GGHO: The young adult coordinator of a forth congregation, plus his partner and a few of their members, also joined. And all their top leadership well knew of us. And their members liked us, and a few that found out joined, and at times were curious of us and wanted to know of our events. But usually the young adult coordinator would not let them know of us; I thought that this was for some legitimate reason, as maybe we hadn't met some UU standard, but the reason never materialized, indeed it was starting to become clear they didn't have any written rules for their group, but often just whatever the young adult coordinator felt like. But in the meantime we still abundantly praised their group and promoted most all their young adult activities to our members; but never once was the favor returned, also per the wishes of that young adult coordinator. Yes he carefully read our website, he was our biggest reader by far, seemingly studying every aspect. But instead of being thrilled that we were obviously helping find and create more UU young adults (as was also his mission --hint, hint), he always was nothing but critical, almost always finding things to criticize and CCing as many people as possible on it; except where it seemed one time his job description forced him to cooperate with us. There were quite a few warning signs that something wrong was simmering with him, but, based on his title & achievements, like everyone else, I dismissed that and trusted he wanted the best for us. Boy was I wrong!
- L6GH16: I was just there to help people. I never imagined seeing it as as competition (between young adult groups). “We’re all UU, aren’t we?” And this guy was minister in training.
- L6GH5B: Nor did it occur to me that there might be a problem with my using the words "Unitarian Universalist" since there wasn't: we emailed all 5 county UU congregations when we opened, and none of the many UU leaders who knew of us, including the many working us that I mentioned, none of them ever mentioned any problem with the name. So I never imagined this later being used (maybe unknowingly be perpetrators) as covert "justification" to enact further sabotage.
- L6GHBI: So for first 8 months this nefarious character fooled me, too; I had no idea of his underbelly - he fooled everyone.
- So finally when it started registering with me that he really wasn’t up to good regarding us and I privately called him on it (and email sent 2010.05.30 21:16), he responded the next day...
- L6AXPY: starting with secretly & vindictively slandering us!, targeting our best members & other local UU leaders, abusing his title & trust to trick them into believing something was wrong & quitting our group: by covertly doing his absolute best to destroy us and shut us down!
- L6AXQC: —which was then quickly furthered (instead of undone) by those “UU” who employed him especially once I showed them I that had the hard proof that their employee had done it! Said the top leaders effectively “We won’t admit to anything of what he did, but we will now orchestrate behind your back for 4 churches to suddenly decide not to endorse you”; “and”, added the president, “if you ask any questions of this, as what happened or what he or we did, we’ll make it so now you’re the problem.” —Well, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise as “Where there’s smoke, there is fire”.
- L6AXQU: But it’s still shocking, and tragically un-UU (or let us hope!), and did tremendous damage to our group: after having reasonable support from 4 congregations for months, we suddenly officially had endorsement from none; plus even seriously tainted District against us! —unless the young adult facilitator of District (the next level above) somehow routinely wants to shut down young adult groups -- and without even looking at them) And all I did was write 1 private email to this guy, a minister-in-training, detailing to him (in writing) his clearly-routine mistreatment of us which I had experienced and then ending it “So cut the BS, man: What's the chip on your shoulder?” So...
- L6B3LU: -What an ego! —to then, in reply, covertly do everything possible to destroy us. Indeed one of my lessons is to take-cover (instead of plan for the best) when directly confronting any powerful hypocrite, maybe especially if he's made his goal in life to think of himself as a member of the cloth); being a man, I'd probably receive a warmer reception from evangelist Ted Haggard telling him to “Stop making passes at me”. And...
- L6B488: -What abuse of power & mismanagement, to want to cover things up and not bother with the other person's story, which UU should never tolerate!
- L6AXS6: So expect to hear some trash against me & our group, likely with the underlying goal to put us out of operation. For it's not speculation: from the date of my private email (2010.05.30) to present (2010.07.29), the aforementioned nefarious characters, all local UU leaders you would expect to trust (hey, I did, too) have done an excellent job of turning our group & me into a Shirley Sherrod case, and sadly most UUs they touch seem to swallow their poison hook-line-and-sinker. For if even the US White House failed to “first carefully ask both sides” and so was easily fooled in the recent Shirley Sherrod case (and by just some opposite-party blogger post from someone not even within their organization!), then sadly it doesn't surprise me that quite a few local UU leaders could be so easily fooled as well (though it very much disappoints me!) —indeed it was my mother, a Unitarian from birth, who came up with this parallel.
- L6BTO2:But, much like Shirley Sherrod, I & UU YOUNG ADULTS! International have nothing but good to offer.
- L6BTNP: So tell & ask me if you hear anything negative:
- L6GJ60: Get everyone on the same page seeing the truth.
- L6GHQS: Interesting that Google Search[Bible OR Qur'an quotes slander] finds quite a few quotes in the Bible and Qur'an against gossip and slander; for instance, Proverbs 11:9 says the same thing semi-cryptically: “With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous.” The Qur'an counsels: "When ye welcomed it with your tongues, and uttered wit your mouths that whereof ye had no knowledge, ye counted it a trifle. In the sight of Allah it is very great."(24: 15)" [>>Not sure how to put in this link for the Islamic quote: http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/quran/24/ lvp]
- L6GJ8V: So carefully ask & tell the source if you hear anything negative --about me, UUYA!, and everything in life-- especially before you believe it or repeat it, and, most especially, before you act upon it!L6C2V4:
- L6GJA7: As without such integrity, we all suffer, becoming conduits for rumors and falling prey to envy, slander, & manipulation.
“KVA16I:Document Background & History”
L6ANYN: 2010.07.28pst1757 I DestinyArchitect “created & own this document”.
- “L2MXTP:Confidentiality & Copyright: This document is copyrighted & could be confidential; specifically the document's owner(s) require all having this document abide by LoveRules.Info ownership & access rights (on LoveRules.Info About) with no exceptions unless its owner(s) state otherwise below or here:” no exceptions now.
- “KVA3T1:Initially formed by: copying as directed” Writely doc KUJWXV http://docs.google.com/Edit?docid=0AX07OJ9W4BnBZGM2dnN4ZHdfMjQ3Nzk2Mzd4Zms “Revision 1190 -2010.07.28pst1759 (~100% complete 4th draft)” to new Writely doc L6ANYN https://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dc6vsxdw_316fb727chh.
- “KVA3VQ:Motive at creation:” Since even the White House recently failed big-time with “first get both sides-of-the-story”, people need forewarning of trash talk. And after writing this for for a few emails (see below) I decide to consolidate it here.
- “KVA3WV:Title at creation: desiring name”[UU YOUNG ADULTS! —Expect pioneers of good to have enemies]; “renamed to” title[UU YOUNG ADULTS! —Expect pioneers of good to have enemies L6ANYN]; problem: this the subject UUYA! might be interpreted as the "enemy" as well as the "pioneer", it's not clear.
- “KVA579:Initially Published-at URL:” http://Blogger.LoveRules.Info/2010/07/l6anyn.html
- L6APDP: Title: new title [Expect pioneers of good to have enemies; UU YOUNG ADULTS! is no exception.]
- L6ARKG: Title: I propose instead q[UU YOUNG ADULTS! is a great example] but Lucy says this plus q[good ] are too strong & instead let the reader infer him/herself, so Lucy rewrites to title[Expect pioneers to have enemies; UU YOUNG ADULTS! is no exception] but this won't fit so title[Expect pioneers to have enemies; UUYA! is no exception L6ANYN].
- L6ARYB: Move to here the relevant content of UU YOUNG ADULTS! of Orange County for UUCF! L6912V.
- L6AXU1: Copy in content from email to Ruth sent 2010.07.25(Sun,pst)04:04.
- L6AXWP: Copy in content from email to Jim sent 2010.07.23(Sun,pst)18:02.
- Copy in content from email to Dan 2010.06.11(Sun,pst)15:23
- L6C0DR: Lucy recommends the edit “Always first [carefully ask>look into ] both sides.”: While I see some merits in this, I don't like it as it seems people could easily say “I “looked into” both sides based on what I already know/assume” but “asking” (even if just “ask yourself”) requires more activity.
- Title: Since I cover things as “Expect to hear some trash against me & our group”, renamed to include me, title[Expect pioneers to have enemies; UUYA! &I are no exception L6ANYN].